I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
