Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize