I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
