It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
