Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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