Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
