What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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