I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
