Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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