You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
