Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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