I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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