i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sober January is a disaster.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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