i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
