her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
