My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
