Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
