What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
