homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
