but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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