Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize