I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
