remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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