Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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