Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
