His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
