hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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