so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
