Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
