maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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