So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
