Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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