So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I look better un-naked...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
