great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
