He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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