I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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