I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
