my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
