the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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