Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
