She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
