you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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