I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
