Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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