Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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