I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
