Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
