Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
