The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
