oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
