My first STD was from a foam party
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
