lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
