for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
