And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
