sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
