I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
