Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
