Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
