i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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