Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
