Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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(563): View more from Iowa

My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.

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(325): View more from Texas

Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.

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