after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
