I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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