and you said cock pushups were impossible
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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