Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
