You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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